The Sanctity Of A Marriage
Pt 27
1 Corinthians 7:10–11
The Permanence Of A Marriage
10 And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband: 11 But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife.
1 Corinthians 7:12–14
The Sanctity Of A Marriage.
12 But to the rest speak I, not the Lord: If any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away. 13 And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him. 14 For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy.
1 Corinthians 7:15
The End Of A Marriage.
15 But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace.
1 Corinthians 7:16
The Potential Of A Marriage.
16 For what knowest thou, O wife, whether thou shalt save thy husband? or how knowest thou, O man, whether thou shalt save thy wife?
The one aspect of life that changes everything is marriage.
It is the single union that most men and women naturally look toward as the culminating aspect of life.
It changes you.
Transforms you.
Challenges you.
The younger you are when you are married, the easier and more permanent seems the union.
Boys become men once they are wed. A sense of responsibility fills them when their first child comes into the world.
1 Corinthians 7:10–11
The Permanence Of A Marriage
10 And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband: 11 But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife.
One Flesh
Genesis 2:24
24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.
One flesh, two become ONE. United one to another.
No other relationship on earth is described this way. There are no relationships between two people that have the same description, purpose, unity, sanctity, devotion or care.
Marriage is the single most blessed union in the world between two people. It is the single most productive relationship in the world, for there is no other relationship in the world that has the ability to create life! No other relationship can multiply itself so wonderfully as that which is found in a marriage relationship.
It is sanctioned from on high!
One Flesh. “What God has joined together let no man put asunder” is the vow that makes the marriage as permanent as it was always intended to be.
“For better or worse, in sickness and in health, till death do us part“.
It is the single greatest cause of celebration in the Old World and there are few celebrations that match it in the new world. The joy between the new husband and the new wife is competed with by the parents of both. It is a new beginning where two people will share their lives one with another, united, blessed and sanctified truly in the eyes of the Lord.
A union that, in spite of its multitude of challenges, rests perfectly in the assurance that it is permanent.
This is what Paul reiterates here in this passage also.
10 And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord,
This was not a new commandment coming from Paul’s lips, but ancient and found again in the lips of the Lord Jesus;
Turn to Mark 10
Mark 10:6–12
6 But from the beginning of the creation God made them male and female. 7 For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife; 8 And they twain shall be one flesh: so then they are no more twain, but one flesh. 9 What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. 10 And in the house his disciples asked him again of the same matter. 11 And he saith unto them, Whosoever shall put away his wife, and marry another, committeth adultery against her. 12 And if a woman shall put away her husband, and be married to another, she committeth adultery.
The next words of Paul in our passage therefore is not his words/commandment, but the Lords;
10 And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband: 11 But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife.
Never was it God’s intention for marriage to be anything other than PERMANENT.
Other than that which Christ allows related to fornication in Matt 5:31 and 19:9 (which we will come to), believers are never to separate one from another voluntarily for any other cause.
It is a union ordained by God and not government.
It is a union sanctified by the Lord not tolerated by man.
It is a holy union when those so joined are themselves joined to Christ. O what a blessing it is to see Christians come together in such a union.
The knowledge that Marriage is permanent brings with it security in the relationship.
Security for the wife. Security for the husband. Security for the children, blessings for society and prosperity for civilisations.
When the world refers to the NUCLEAR FAMILY, they are referring to that permanent central relationship by which all civilisations are blessed.
That is the PERMANENCE OF MARRIAGE
1 Corinthians 7:12–14
The Sanctity Of A Marriage.
12 But to the rest speak I, not the Lord: If any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away. 13 And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him. 14 For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy.
The PERMANENCE of Marriage brings to our understanding only a hint as to how valuable God sees the marriage union.
It brings to our mind his own relationship in the Godhead, his relationship to Israel (his wife) and The Son’s permanent relationship to his bride (The Church).
The Sanctity of Marriage therefore is implied as a separate and distinct union from that seen in the world.
But it is not without its challenges.
The Corinthian Church, just like the contemporary Church of today, had its challenge with individuals saved AFTER they were married. Not a problem if they were BOTH saved, but a problem if one was saved and the other lost. If one is holy and the other defiled.
2 Corinthians 6:14
….what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?
This is the case he is writing about here. A brother or sister has a wife or husband “that beleiveth not“, and what a challenge that will be.
Turn to Ezra 10 (After 2 Chronicles and before Nehemiah).
Now the context of the passage is a serious one.
The people of Judah had just spent over 70 years in captivity in Babylon due to their sin of idolatry and joining themselves to the people of the land.
70 years where God was so displeased he had them taken away as he saw good. But now they have respite. The Temple is rebuilt and God has shown them favour.
But in chapter nine they had returned to their old ways and the very reasons why they went into captivity to begin with. Ezra heard it, and my how it grieved him. He literally could not believe it.
Ezra 9:3
3 And when I heard this thing, I rent my garment and my mantle, and plucked off the hair of my head and of my beard, and sat down astonied.
Well, the children of Israel were unequally yoked and so the command is given;
Ezra 10:1–3
1 Now when Ezra had prayed, and when he had confessed, weeping and casting himself down before the house of God, there assembled unto him out of Israel a very great congregation of men and women and children: for the people wept very sore.
2 And Shechaniah the son of Jehiel, one of the sons of Elam, answered and said unto Ezra, We have trespassed against our God, and have taken strange wives of the people of the land: yet now there is hope in Israel concerning this thing. 3 Now therefore let us make a covenant with our God to put away all the wives, and such as are born of them, according to the counsel of my lord, and of those that tremble at the commandment of our God; and let it be done according to the law.
The phrase “put away” means to divorce them.
In the days of the nation such was to be seen as good to the Lord for Israel were never to marry outside the nation, but to keep themselves “sanctified”, that is ‘separated’ unto the Lord.
In our passage to the Corinthian church something else completely is being presented.
1 Corinthians 7:12–1412 …. If any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away. 13 And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him. 14 For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband:
Matthew Henry does a great job at bringing this to the fore;
1. To the advice itself, which is that if an unbelieving husband or wife were pleased to dwell with a Christian relative, the other should not separate. The husband should not put away an unbelieving wife, nor the wife leave an unbelieving husband, v. 12, 13. The Christian calling did not dissolve the marriage covenant, but bind it the faster, by bringing it back to the original institution, limiting it to two persons, and binding them together for life. The believer is not by faith in Christ loosed from matrimonial bonds to an unbeliever, but is at once bound and made apt to be a better relative[1]
You see the unbelieving husband or wife is sanctified by the believing partner. This does not mean they are saved, but though they remain lost the marriage covenant itself is set apart to the blessing of God, they are “sanctified”.
So too that of the Children;
14 For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy.
Marriage is a diving institution. Only one of the partners in the relationship need be also wed to Christ for that union to be set apart, sanctified and seen as holy before the Lord. This is not to say all members are saved, but that the union has a special and peculiar favour in the eyes of the Lord.
He is sanctified for the wife sake, she is sanctified for the husbands sake, both are one flesh and the children seen as clean in that covenant. Again, not that they are saved, but if you can understand that the union of one member to Christ binds the family to the special graces and blessing of the Lord, you can see this passage for its eternal benefit.
But what if the unbelieving spouse can no longer remain?
The End Of A Marriage.
1 Corinthians 7:1515 But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace.
An unequally yoked relationship is difficult in the best of times, even in a relationship where one partner is growing so much more in their relationship to Christ than the other, it is as if a large OX and a small ox are yoked to the work pulling at a different pace finding it hinders the relationship more than it ought.
But when it comes to the point when the unbelieving spouse can no longer tolerate your love for Christ and would sooner to apart than together, there being no reconciliation possible and the deserter seeks desertion, “let him depart. A brother or sister is not under bondage in such cases“.
The meaning is clear beloved and you do not really need more than what is presented. The departure refers to divorce, not the will of the believing spouse but the will of “the unbelieving“..”Let him depart“.
It is clearly not reasonable in the eyes of the Lord to have deserted person left bound to the deserting partner, they are not “under bondage in such cases” and therefore free to remarry…”only in the Lord” (v39).
Being “bound” is referred to as being married in the scriptures, and so being ‘not under bondage’ clearly means no longer bound.
1 Corinthians 7:27
27 Art thou bound unto a wife? seek not to be loosed. Art thou loosed from a wife? seek not a wife.
Turn to Romans 7
Romans 7:2–3
2 For the woman which hath an husband is bound by the law to her husband so long as he liveth; but if the husband be dead, she is loosed from the law of her husband. 3 So then if, while her husband liveth, she be married to another man, she shall be called an adulteress: but if her husband be dead, she is free from that law; so that she is no adulteress, though she be married to another man.
While Paul is referring to salvation and the law in this passage, the reference example remains true.
When the deserting spouse choses to leave the one he was once cleaved to, the deserted person MUST BE FREE TO MARRY AGAIN. The dissolution of the marriage covenant by the deserter is treated as death itself, for how can two be one flesh if one desires to be put away from the other?
This is the End of a Marriage.
Too often I have heard of the tragic stories of Pastors teaching that there are no causes for divorce EVEN IF the believing husband or wife is deserted by their unbelieving spouse, therefore condemning the deserted to live the rest of their lives alone for fear of committing adultery.
Such pastors will answer to the Lord for ignoring the plainness of this passage to the Corinthian churches.
I have argued to several pastors on this point many years ago and found it a common teaching among indoctrinated pastors.
Though I have always read the passage plainly and seen it to mean what it says, it was a pleasure to see it affirmed by my favourite commentator in Matthew Henry;
But, though a believing wife or husband should not separate from an unbelieving mate, yet if the unbelieving relative desert the believer, and no means can reconcile to a cohabitation, in such a case a brother or sister is not in bondage (v. 15), not tied up to the unreasonable humour, and bound servilely to follow or cleave to the malicious deserter, or not bound to live unmarried after all proper means for reconciliation have been tried, at least if the deserter contract another marriage or be guilty of adultery, which was a very easy supposition, because a very common instance among the heathen inhabitants of Corinth.[2]
But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace.
God hath called us to peace.
Much trouble no doubt had gone before the final separation of an unequally yoked relation. This is not the desire for the Lord for our lives, and yet if there be hope to save the soul of our husband or wife, then much peace and patience is to follow the earnestness of the desire.
But if it be that such sin avails the man or woman that they cannot stand your hope in Christ and choose to depart ‘let him depart‘.
Both were to be of “one flesh“, how can a marriage survive if a member depart?
Just as the metaphorical death of the marriage is attended to by the one who desserts it, so also is the literal death of one member also the end of a Marriage.
1 Corinthians 7:39
39 The wife is bound by the law as long as her husband liveth; but if her husband be dead, she is at liberty to be married to whom she will; only in the Lord.
1 Corinthians 7:16
The Potential Of A Marriage.
16 For what knowest thou, O wife, whether thou shalt save thy husband? or how knowest thou, O man, whether thou shalt save thy wife?
The concern is eternal.
Some brethren may indeed be called to a challenging life to live with an unbelieving partner, but the work in the effort is to the saving of the soul of your husband or wife.
Hosea 1:2
2 The beginning of the word of the LORD by Hosea. And the LORD said to Hosea, Go, take unto thee a wife of whoredoms and children of whoredoms: for the land hath committed great whoredom, departing from the LORD.
Hosea’s entire life symbolised Gods relationship to Israel as his adulterous wife.
Hosea with marriage is a SYMBOL of COMMITMENT.
A woman I know, strong in the Lord, raised her five children in Christ, at least two of which came to the Lord. Her husband was a lost man but pleased to dwell with her and so she remained faithful to her Lord.
Daily were her prayers lifted to the one who died to reconcile her to himself. For fifty years she prayed until he came to Christ. The remained together for the rest of his life, the Lord took him home only this year.
CLOSE
The institution of marriage is the most blessed institution of all. Civilisation has its foundation in this sanctified covenant.
Sanctified because it is set apart from the relationships the world ignorantly attempts to enjoy through trial and error.
Sanctified because it is set apart to God with his watchful eye and care, continually calling both members of that body to look to him daily for their provision, hope, joy and the solutions to ALL they endure in this fallen world.
Sanctified because because a biblical marriage is set apart to bless its progeny, children who will see the re-presentation of Christ in the union of a husband who loves his wife as Christ loves the Church, willing to die for her, and a wife who honours her husband as unto Christ.
Sanctified because it is set apart in a covenent of faith and trust, where it can only function truly when the hearts of both members are opened to one another with no protective barrier against emotional harm, joined to well that they beat as one.
Sanctified because trust between the members of a biblical marriage sets them apart from the insecurities of secular relationships. This is the reason why broken trust in such in the union of marriage is the most painful of all betrayals.
We wed for life brethren. It is a union that has its match in the unity of the Godhead.
God did not create man because he was lonely, he had perfect relationship within himself and desired to share that united joy with the purpose for creation, you and I.
Genesis 2:24
24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.
[1] Matthew Henry, Matthew Henry’s Commentary on the Whole Bible: Complete and Unabridged in One Volume, (Peabody: Hendrickson, 1994), 2256.
[2] Matthew Henry, Matthew Henry’s Commentary on the Whole Bible: Complete and Unabridged in One Volume, (Peabody: Hendrickson, 1994), 2256.
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